Three pillars of love

Our emotions often surge at first sight. A dress in a window, a piece of furniture in a shop, or even a book’s binding can trigger an immediate response. Yet such feelings inevitably fade with time – there is no love at first sight that persists unchanged.

This initial feeling is essentially attraction, compelling yet often superficial. It can be readily replaceable by any other object of similar appeal because it lacks deeper roots. A connection that truly endures, however, possesses a different foundation. It persists in memory precisely because it is anchored in experience.

What kind of experience builds this lasting connection? It begins with pure admiration — that initial, unqualified choice based on subjective beauty alone. This serves as the necessary spark, an interest inspired not necessarily by the exact object, but perhaps by something of its kind or theme. That is the initial step.

Next comes the story: the context of the object. Both its own history and its developing role in one’s personal narrative must be substantial enough to remain in memory, to resist being forgotten or replaced. Gaining understanding of this context, perhaps through learning, effort, or personal journey related to the object, builds a deeper respect.

Finally, there must be ownership—not in the merely commercial sense, but experienced as a period of genuine connection. This is where the object’s existence becomes truly intertwined with one’s own, allowing for the formation of a defining, personal bond.

Then, here is a recipe for a connection that endures: admiration as the spark, respect born of understanding the object’s story and context, and ownership or genuine connection that transforms appreciation into lasting attachment.